Have you heard of stoicism?
Although this philosophy has been around for thousands of years, it's never been more relevant! In a world where our daily lives have been taken over by worry, stress and anxiety, stoicism could provide a way to return to calmness and inner peace.
But first, what exactly IS stoicism?
If you've ever heard someone being called 'stoic', you might've thought they're cold and indifferent to all human emotions. But that's not exactly what stoicism is...
Stoicism is a philosophy that originated in ancient Greece and was practiced by many notable figures, including Marcus Aurelius and Seneca. At its core, stoicism is about accepting what we can't control and focusing on what we can control. It promotes self examination, self control, personal responsibility, and objectivity.
It's about being mindful of our thoughts and emotions and choosing to respond to events in a rational, calm way.
“If you are distressed by anything external, the pain is not due to the thing itself, but to your estimate of it; and this you have the power to revoke at any moment.” - Marcus Aurelius
Stoics believe that we can't control external events, but we can control how we react to them. While for the events we can control, stoics would advice discipline and choosing the right path. This way of living allows us to take control of our destiny and become our best selves, which Stoics saw as one of live's goals.
If this is sounding like the cognitive behavioural approach to you, you'd be right, as this is where CBT gets its roots!
Stoicism as an answer to stress
So could this ancient philosophy be the answer we seek to bring calm to our modern lives, overtaken by stress, anxiety and never ending to-do lists?
A stoic mindset could very well be a big part of the answer to stress and poor resilience.
When faced with a stressful situation, it's easy to feel overwhelmed and powerless. In fact, 'stress' in itself can be defined as a perceived inability to cope. But by focusing on what we can control, we can regain a sense of agency and reduce our stress levels.
By practicing self-discipline, another key aspect of stoicism, we gain control over our lives and ultimately live in accordance with our values. We become the person we want to be, rather than being controlled by external factors.
“First say to yourself what you would be; and then do what you have to do.” - Epictetus
But sometimes, things happen that are outside of our control. By accepting this fact, as stoicism teaches us, we can stop fighting an internal battle and find inner peace. We also find acceptance for underlying emotions, such as disappointment or defeat, and move forward.
Stoicism also emphasises the importance of self-awareness. By being mindful of our thoughts and emotions, we can better understand ourselves and our reactions to stressful events, giving us power to change and react accordingly. This self-awareness allows us to build resilience and thrive in difficulties, rather than struggling. Learn more about how to develop self-awareness here.
However, stoicism might not be the right path for everyone. There are other considerations to take into account. You might struggle with assertiveness, building a life that's aligned to your values, or simply not resonate with the philosophy.
How to practice stoicism?
If you feel like stoicism is something that aligns with you and would like to try living a more stoic live, here are a few ways:
1.Acceptance of what you can't control
Sometimes, things happen that are outside of our control. Instead of getting upset or stressed about them, accepting them takes away much of the stress and inner struggle to achieve something unachievable.
When faced with a stressful situation, ask yourself: What can I control in this situation? Focus on those things and let go of what you can't control.
Sometimes realising we don't have control over aspects of a situation is enough to let go of the need to control. Other times it's not as easy. If you find yourself struggling, try working with your emotions. When faced with situations beyond our control, we often experience negative emotions such as anger, frustration, or disappointment. It's essential to embrace these emotions, accept them, and let them go. If you want to learn how to do this in detail, read my blog on emotional management.
2. Self-discipline
Self-discipline is a difficult task for many. But a key to living a stoic life (and for a good reason as we've already discussed!). If you want to become more disciplined, firstly ensure you're clear on your values, according to which you'd like to live your life. Ensure your goals align with those values.
Once you have a specific goal, set an achievable target. Use SMART goals for setting detailed achievable goals. I describe how to set SMART goals in my other blog. For example, if you want to consistently exercise but know you won't stick to it if your goal is to do one hour a day, make it 20 minutes a day.
To make it easier remove distractions as much as possible (delete social media apps, clear your space) and add resistance into your life. Today's world means everything is 'instant', but by making life a little harder for yourself you can become more disciplined in all areas.
Stoicism also teaches us to embrace discomfort as a way of self-development. While you might exercise regularly or denounce certain foods as a way to look better, the ultimate goal for the stoics is the exercise for your mind, which teaches you to tolerate discomfort and thrive in difficulties.
Stay focused on your goals and remain disciplined even when faced with setbacks or failures. Remember that setbacks are opportunities for growth and learning. If you fail instead of seeing yourself in a negative light, regularly reflect on your actions and decisions to identify areas for improvement. Use this feedback to make adjustments and continue to grow and develop your self-discipline.
3. Self-awareness and self-development
Stoicism's goal for us is personal growth. Being self-aware and practicing self-development will not only lower stress and improve resilience, but also many other life areas!
You can do this through things like reflecting on your actions and reactions, examining your beliefs, and being mindful.
To start, identify your beliefs and values, and question them to gain a deeper understanding of yourself. Consider if they're aligned with Stoic principles, and how you can use them to improve your life. Which goals can help you align your life? What are the decisions which get you closer to who you want to be? Also take time to reflect on your actions and decisions regularly. Consider how they align with your values and what you could do differently in the future. Building a life of value can immensely reduce daily stresses and bring us more happiness.
If there are certain things you want to change, in particular pay attention to how you react to different situations, and try to understand why you react the way you do. This can help you gain insight into your thought patterns and emotional responses which you can then work to adjust accordingly. This can help you understand what triggers stress and consider why. From there you can work to address this.
Remember to be present and mindful of your thoughts and emotions. Notice when you're reacting emotionally and try to understand the underlying reasons for your reactions. If you're not afraid of what you might hear, you can also ask others for feedback on your behaviour and how you come across. This can help you understand how others perceive you and identify areas for improvement.
Stoicism is a philosophy that has stood the test of time. By incorporating it into our lives, many of us can learn to respond to stressful situations in a rational, calm way and lead more fulfilling lives, free of stress.
Let me know if you've employed any stoic principles into your life and what was the outcome!
Get more help managing stress
I help people find balance, calmness and build a resilience character to overcome stress and find joy in their lives. If you'd like to know how I could help you, contact me for a free consultation.
Commentaires